@Anonymous

go inside when he sees me. It got to the point that I was so delusional that I would avoid a certain way so that I won't see him. I don't want to see him, yet I want to see him, I'm contented from admiring him from afar. Since I knew we would never be more than that, I mean we're not even friends, I'm just a delusional girl, with delusional dreams that someone I like would actually like me. I found out that my boy classmate knew him, because he had a cousin that's in the same class as him. One day I overheard from one of the girls in their grade that he has a crush on his classmate. It didn't really affect me since I know they can't be together because the girl he likes has a boyfriend. Yesterday I was talking about him to my friends on our group chat. My boy classmate that has a cousin that's from the same class as him, told me that someone on our class had a crush on him and I was so curious on who it was I thought that he was talking about me since they knew that I like him. He refused to tell it to the group chat so messaged him privately and asked who it was, he revealed the name and I was just shattered. It wasn't me though I wished that it was me and that he was just joking. I asked how he thought that our classmate had a crush on him, he told me that he hears them talking about him, and she says that she is chatting with him. I was so speechless that I didn't reply at all. So all this time he was looking at her and not me? I was so delusional, why did he do this? If he didn't like me why can't he just act like it. Why did he have to make me think that I actually had a chance. He was my first crush to make me experience this pain. But at the end I want to thank him because he changed me for the better, he gave me a reason to enjoy school, be more confident, love myself, study harder, and learn to make myself prettier. If not for him I would have still been so insecure. So thank you Nat---, thank you for the experiences, and lessons you taught me. You don't know me but you helped me so much, you might be the right person for me but I'm not the right one for you.